Thursday 16 July 2015

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets


Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets


Bloomsbury (UK) & Scholastic (US)
Book released 2 July 1998 (UK) & 2 June 1999 (US)
Written by JK Rowling









Warner Bros.
Film released 2002
Director: Chris Columbus
Writer: Steve Kloves
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Richard Harris, Kenneth Branagh, every British actor ever
Rated: PG





Grade: 5/5






Mk, let’s return to the wizarding world and the second instalment of JK Rowling’s gift to humanity. God is a woman and her name is JK Rowling.

We’ve covered the queerness of Harry literally coming out of the closet, the queerness of wizardry, the beginning of Hermione’s war against the patriarchy, and the gayest gay of them all, you guessed it, Dumbledore, and now we need to talk about a couple of things that come up in the second book that just make the series that much queerer.

First up, Dobby and the house elves

The biggest thing the movie leaves out is the genius of SPEW. For those of you plebeians who are not in the know, SPEW stands for the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare and it begins Hermione’s single-handed pursuit to emancipate house elves. SPEW has a (mostly) consistent presence throughout the series and I’ve always been super disappointed that it got left on the cutting room floor because it is seriously genius and it establishes Hermione as a passionate activist. House elves are about as queer as you can get. They are essentially an enslaved population, taken advantage of by wizards. So much queer oppression going on. When Dobby meets Harry and he’s actually the first person ever to even say one nice thing to Dobby and care about his wellbeing and all he does is politely offer him a seat, you know there’s some hateful bigotry going on in the background of this poor character’s life. I don’t think this one needs much more explaining; the queerness here is pretty explicit. I mean, he wears a pillow case for goodness’s sake.

Next, we really get a better sense of the Weasley’s economic status in this book/movie. They’re a huge family squeezed into this tiny house that barely fits all of them. 

They have to buy second hand everything and they work hard for what they do have. But what’s important in the depiction of their economic status is that, while it is sometimes a source of shame for Ron, they are an incredibly happy family. Harry even envies them and the life they lead. Mr. Weasley loves the work that he does and is incredibly passionate and together, they persevere to make it work. Their poverty rarely reveals itself as a set back. On the contrary, their family becomes idyllic through Harry’s eyes. Queer points for the Weasleys!

Before I get to the big queer issue of the book, I wanna talk about Hagrid for a little bit. 
We get a bit more of his backstory in this book, although not all of it, but I want to talk about him anyway and maybe reference some stuff that we learn about in other books. In Chamber, we learn that he was expelled from Hogwarts as a teen because Tom Riddle (aka young Voldy) framed him for being the heir of Slytherin and killing Moaning Myrtle. And he gets shipped off to Azkaban in this book because they think he was the one who re-opened the chamber. We don’t learn explicitly until book four that Hagrid is half-giant, but the discrimination he faces in this book (and honestly in most of the others) establishes his queer status before we understand the full extent of his queer identity. I think it is important to acknowledge it here because of the parallels it makes to ableism. Hagrid is often treated like a lower being than the rest of the wizarding community. He’s looked down upon, called an “oaf,” and generally faces a lot of demeaning bigotry. His half-giant status not only establishes him as outside of pure blood wizards, but also within another species category that is generally thought of a intellectually inferior to wizards. There’s more to talk about once we get to The Goblet of Fire and The Order of The Phoenix, so I’ll save the rest till then. Just know that Hagrid is hella queer.

The big one in this instalment is the beginning of the pure blood versus muggle-born debacle. This is where we first hear the slur, “mudblood.” 
And the whole Chamber of Secrets thing is laced with near genocidal rhetoric. The heir of Slytherin is out and about again and on the hunt for muggle-born blood. This pure blood/muggle-born clash basically drives the plot of the entire series with Voldemort’s obsession with essentially, purifying the entire wizarding world (cue the allusions to Hitler and WWII). It’s the racial debate of the wizarding world, and its queerness is overwhelming. Malfoy’s bullying of Hermione brings the issue into full focus and we get to see the horror of the issue unravel through Harry’s eyes. Any queer kid getting bullied at school can relate to Hermione’s experience with Malfoy and her struggles with prejudice just because of who her parents are. AND SHE’S STILL THE BEST WITCH IN HER CLASS! If that’s not overcoming adversity then I don’t know what is.

A few quick queer things:

-Lockhart is totally queer. But he’s a pretty crumby guy so let’s not talk about that.
-I’ve always thought there was a bit of an undertone of mental heath going on with Harry being about to hear the snake through the walls and with Ginny and her dependence on Riddle’s journal. Not quite sure what to make of it though.
-lol, Ron’s fear of spiders. Not only is it totally relatable, but it also subverts gender stereotypes. Ron would be screaming like a little baby while Hermione swats at spiders in their kitchen.

MVQ: Dobby.
OTP: Still looking at me and Hermione…I mean really, who doesn’t ship themselves with Hermione?
Favorite Moment: Dobby gaining his freedom with Harry’s smelly sock.



Friday 3 July 2015

Wallace and Gromit: A Grand Day Out and The Wrong Trousers


Wallace and Gromit: A Grand Day Out and The Wrong Trousers
Aardman Animations
Released 1989 (A Grand Day Out), 1993 (The Wrong Trousers)
Director & Writer: Nick Park
Starring: Peter Sallis
Unrated

Grade:  4/5





Today we’re going old school. And British. We’re looking at two of the original Wallace and Gromit shorts today: A Grand Day Out, and The Wrong Trousers. I was going to watch A Close Shave too, but that short is basically the reason why I don’t watch horror movies and while I’m supposedly an adult, I couldn’t bring myself to watch it, it’s also the least gay of all the original shorts and it’s my blog I can watch if I want to (or not, in this case).

I loved these shorts as a kid. The charm of the stop animation, the simplicity of the characters, their overwhelming Britishness, and how totally gay they are make for some excellent 20-minute storytelling. Wallace and Gromit at are basically the English version of Bert and Ernie. They are domesticated male companions who share a love of cheese! You can’t get much better than that.

These two shorts chronicle their charming inter-species relationship (intersectionality points anyone? Inter-racial metaphor maybe?), it’s ups and downs, and emotional twists and turns. Before we get started, I want to mention this inter-species thing. I’m definitely not talking about equating gayness and bestiality and that whole anti-gayness arguement. There’s actually some interesting scholarship on fictional human-animal relationships as metaphors in queer coming of age stories. Kathryn Bond Stockton talks about girls and dogs (think movies like Lassie) as codified lesbian relationships. So…there’s that.

A Grand Day Out is the first ever Wallace and Gromit short film and I couldn’t get enough of it as a kid.
One small step for man, one giant leap for claymation
The story is simple. Wallace and Gromit are trying to figure out where to go for the upcoming bank holiday (that’s a long weekend for all you American dweebs out there, jk HAPPY almost FOURTH OF JULY!). Wallace realizes they are out of cheese. OH THE HORROR! And he wants to go on a cheese vacation! Cause, duh. They decide to build a rocket ship so they can taste some delicious moon cheese, cause everyone knows the moon is made of cheese. 
Say cheese!
They get themselves to the moon (which apparently has oodles of gravity) with Wallace’s inventing genius brain and sample its cheesy offerings. But there’s a robot on the moon! And it really doesn’t want them to steal any moon cheese. While they escape in their rocket ship, the robot tries to stowaway, but it messes up while trying to keep them from going and it gets all robot-y sad until it fashions itself a pair of metal skis from parts of the rocket ship that got left behind and everyone is happy.  Wallace and Gromit head home with their cheese-y conquest.
Hmmmm, tastes a bit crater-y
This first look at the brilliance of Wallace and Gromit introduces us to their charming dynamic. They do everything together and are the very definition of true companionship. They invent together. They holiday together. They picnic on the moon together. And they share an epic love of cheese. #relationshipgoals

If that’s not gay AF, then idk what is.

Next up is The Wrong Trousersby far my favourite. 


We start off with Wallace and Gromit’s morning routine full of funny Wallace contraptions like the bed that turns into a slide and slips him straight into his chair at the breakfast table where another contraption dresses him while he eats his toast. The simple brilliance. I really wanted that machine as a kid. It would have made mornings so much easier. And then it’s Gromit’s birthday! Wallace presents him with a pair of electronic trousers he can wear and do cool things in like walk on the ceiling. And then they get a new roommate? Still a bit iffy on how that part happens, oh well. It’s a penguin! Yup. But it’s an evil penguin who takes over Gromit’s room and basically ruins everything. The penguin traps Wallace in his own electric trouser invention. 

This is not what I expected from yoga...
Gromit spies on the penguin and figures out that it’s trying to steal diamonds from a museum! The penguin’s a jewel thief! And it’s going to make Wallace steal the diamond while he’s wearing the trousers! Penguin mayhem ensues and Gromit ends up saving the day! Yay Gromit! Boo penguin!

This short is the gayest. Wallace and Gromit live in simple domestic bliss. Their routine is down pat. Gromit knits while Wallace reads the morning paper. Ah, wedded bliss. I think it’s fascinating (despite perpetuating gender roles) that Wallace and Gromit take on these gendered stereotypes of married life, even though they are both male (and supposedly in a non-romantic relationship). Any romantic parallels magnify when the penguin comes into the picture. It’s totally mimics the break up narrative. Gromit gets ousted from his room by the penguin, then gets kicked outside into the dog house where he watches Wallace and the penguin have a nice candle-lit dinner. Gromit packs up his things in a bandana, ties it to a stick (FYI, it is very difficult to get this to work, my 5-year-old self can attest to it), picks up a picture with him and Wallace, cries all the sad break up tears, and leaves his home in the rain. 

Nooooobody knows, the trouble I've seen
But then Wallace realizes that the stupid penguin is evil and makes up with Gromit and all is right with the world again. They are OTP through and through.

MVQ: The moon robot. It’s just so happy on its metal moon skis!

I'm pretty sure this is where Pixar got the idea for Wall-e...
OTP: Do I even need to say Wallace and Gromit? What’s their ship name? Womit? Grollace?
Favorite moment: The train scene in The Wrong Trousers is seriously epic.