Spy Kids

Spy Kids

Dimension Films & Troublemaker Studios

Released: 2001

Written & Directed: Robert Rodriguez

Starring: Antonio Banderas, Alexa Vega, Carla Gugino, Daryl Sabara

Rated: PG

GRADE: 4.5/5

Remember this movie? I loved this movie as a kid and rewatched it recently thinking I was going to be disappointed, but NO! It’s actually wayyyy better watching it now as an adult-ish human person. It’s SO QUEER!

Here’s a quick recap: The movie follows the Cortez family: Gregorio (um, awesome name, right), Ingrid, Carmen, and Juni. 

Mommy Spy and Daddy Spy were international spies who got married and went under cover when they had kids. So think of Mr & Mrs Smith as its prequel. Basically, spies start disappearing and Mom and Dad Spy go looking for them and get caught so it’s left to the kids to save alllllllll the spies. Alan Cumming plays Floop, who is a villain (gonna talk about him in a hot sec) and is the host of a kid’s show and an inventor who is working for an evil dude who is paying him to create an army of robot children to take over the world. You know, normal stuff. New kid spies Carmen and Juni end up saving their parents and happily ever after blah blah blah. Just go rewatch it (it’s on Netflix!).

Spy Kids has a few things go for it.

First! Daddy Spy is Mexican! We’ve got an interracial marriage AND mixed race kids. INTERSECTIONALITY BONUS POINTS! Looks like we’re off to a good start.

Next, Juni. Poor little Juni. He’s not just bullied by the awful white boy in his class, the bullying makes him so stressed out that his hands sweat and cause warts, making the bullying worse L That’s no fun. So he’s definitely got some othering/queering story stuff going on. There’s this one really awesome moment when Daddy Spy is dropping Juni off at school and sees him get bullied and he goes into a dream sequence where he confront’s the Daddy Bully and punches him in the face because he’s an international spy and he can do that, but instead he just stays in the car. It’s a sad moment but it feels very real and heartfelt and I’m sure lots of parents of queer kids can relate. Also, the actor pulled a bit of a Neville Longbottom:

Things get better, kids.

Next, the women in this movie are pretty kick-ass. Carmen is fiercely independent (if a bit rebellious) and has so much agency the whole time they are dodging all the people who are after them. Also, when Daddy Spy tells Mommy Spy that he’s gonna go off on a mission, she totally puts her foot down and insists that she go along with him. Look at that outspoken feminism. 

(I also totally had a crush on Carmen as a kid, fyi. She looks like this now so...)

Here’s the big one! FLOOOOOOOOOP. Floop. Floopy Floop. What an awesome character name. AND he’s played by out bisexual actor Alan Cumming (bisexual visibility points! Wanna watch a cool thing about bisexual erasure? Click here!). 

Besides that, evidence for queerness comes from how damn campy he is! He hosts a kids show called Floop’s Fooglies where the characters literally enter by sliding down a rainbow…

I mean, come on. 

For the first 45 minutes of rewatching this movie, I was really disappointed because I thought Floop was just another queer villain character to add to the ginormous list. BUT NO! Well, yeah he still does bad villainy stuff, but (spoilers!) we actually learn that he doesn’t really care about the villain stuff, he really just wants to make a good kids’ show which is kinda adorable. His evil minion Minion is the actual evil one. Floop helps Carmen and Juni defeat Minion at the end of it all. That’s pretty cool. Dismantling the gay villain trope one character at a time! Major points on that one.

AND THIS MOVIE IS SO CAMPY! ALL THE CAMP! ALL THE BONUS POINTS!

In sum, this movie is way better than I thought it would be upon rewatch and I seriously recommend it since it’s up there on the queer scale.

MVQ: FLOOP!

OTP: Floop and one of his Thumb Thumb henchthumbs. I mean, do I have to explain that one?

Favorite Moment: When Floop realizes the error of his ways! Also there’s an awesome surprise George Clooney appearance that’s pretty epic.